UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe "I'm not asking you to believe every conspiracy theory you'll find in this book. . . . I didn't write this book to give you all the answers. The Warren Commission did that, and the answers were all wrong. I wrote this book to inspire you to do what the powers that be wish you wouldn't:  to question authority . . . and to keep an eye out for Elvis."
--RICHARD BELZER

In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the distinguished statesman of stand-up comedy tackles some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. Just what is it that they don't want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and what the American astronauts really found on the moon? The unexplained crash at Roswell and the mysterious "face" on Mars? The link between the Nazis and the U.S. space program? Evidence of extraterrestrial experimentation?

Finally, one lone "nut" exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces that would have us believe that Oswald acted alone, those lights in the sky are weather balloons, and fluoridated water is good for you (yeah, right). "Some of the smartest people I know . . . find it easier--and certainly more comforting--to believe that America is the only country on earth with no conspiracies at all." Just remember: do not ask on whom The Belz has told--he's told on them.Are you the least bit curious about the JFK mystery, UFOs, and the conspiracy theories that swirl around them like dust devils? If so, don't miss out on Richard Belzer's immensely entertaining, impishly irreverent audio monologue on his twin enthusiasms. (Elvis doesn't really figure in Belzer's spiel. He just put him in there because whenever he cast doubt on the Warren Commission or government denials of UFOs, people would say, "Yeah, and you probably believe Elvis is still alive," which isn't true.) Belzer played the conspiracy-obsessed Detective Munch on TV's Homicide and other shows so convincingly because he is obsessed. He's working on a TV adaptation of the ideas in The Big Book of Conspiracies.

Belzer's snarky, film noir voice is a national treasure, and his jaunty, paranoid rap is punctuated with 200 sound effects: musical cues, rifle shots, and a little noise that signals one of Belzer's delightful "factoids." A factoid is an item of interest, such as Belzer's allegation that the bullets recovered from the cop allegedly shot by Oswald don't match Oswald's gun. He also cites the actual U.S. law that forbade sex with aliens. No joke! Belzer started out as a snarling standup comic, and few can match his way with a monologue. His delivery doesn't merely drip with sarcasm, it's positively drenching. He may or may not convince you that Gerald Posner's Oswald-did-it book Case Closed is bull, but he will definitely make you laugh. (Running time: 6 hours, 4 cassettes)--Tim Appelo

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